It Wasn't Supposed to Happen
by damnitnikki
Summary: "Yes, it is. You wanted this so badly and you were so excited and I just screwed everything up, like I always do, but this time it meant something. And I just…" she paused. "I understand if you hate me." ONE-SHOT


She knew that the silence was killing him.

She knew that all he wanted to do was comfort her, but right now, she just needed to be alone with her thoughts, or lack thereof. So, she just crumpled in the passenger seat and stared out the window. She tried not to think about how tightly he had his hands on the steering wheel.

_How could this happen?_

They drove home in silence. They walked up the driveway in silence. She patiently waited as he fumbled with the keys, cursing under his breath. He got the key in the lock and swung opened the door.

He looked at her then, trying to gauge her mood. He was worried and he looked like he aged ten years in the past two hours. And it was all her fault.

"Thank you," she whispered and she stepped into their home. The home they were supposed to start a family in. And now….

She made her way into the bedroom and shut the door. She could see him, standing in the living room, looking after her. She knew full well that he wanted to be with her, but she needed her space.

She sighed and crawled into bed. Her eye caught the picture of them on their wedding day, smiling and happy. The photographer wanted a formal picture, but that wasn't going to happen because he couldn't keep his hands off of her. So, they got one with him kissing her cheek, arms wrapped around her and she had her eyes squeezed shut, laughing at his stupidity.

She rolled over and cried into the pillows.

* * *

He came in thirty minutes later. He knew she was still awake because her breath is ragged. He climbed into the bed and put an arm around her stomach, spooning her into him. He tried to ignore the way she tensed when he touched her.

"Min," he mumbled into her hair. "Min, it's going to be okay."

She took in a deep, broken breath. "No, Danny. It's not."

"What're you talking about? Of course it is."

She turned to look at him, her eyes red and make up smudged from all the crying. "You're not thinking, Danny. This wasn't supposed to happen."

"It never is, babe. It just does—"

"It isn't supposed to happen to _me. _To _us._ We're OB-GYNs, for Christ's sake. This is what we do for _living_. Who's going to want an OB-GYN who can't even have her own baby?"

Mindy propped herself up on the bed. "This will ruin us. People will find out and I will suddenly be an unfit doctor. Patients will run to the nearest replacement, or worse, the Deslauriers. And I will _die _before I give another client to those idiots."

"Okay, I don't think we need to go that far."

"What are we going to tell the others? We're going to have to tell Jeremy to find another practice. And we're going to have to fire Morgan, again. And what about Betsy? Oh, God. She'll have to sell herself for money—"

"Mindy, stop it," he said and he grabbed her face. "It's fine, okay?"

She suddenly thought back to the night she told him. She had taken three tests, just to be sure. They were going out that night and she was going to slyly slip in that she was eating for two during dinner, but she was helping him put on his tie and she was so excited that she blurted it out there. They missed their reservation.

They started coming up with names that night. It was a bit early, but Mindy had dreamed of this moment for so long, she didn't care. "Caleb" and "Emma" were at the top of the list.

And now it was all gone.

She broke again and he wrapped her up in his arms, rocking her back and forth. He was near tears himself—he _hated _to see her this torn up—but he just held on to her because that's all he could do.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled through her sobs. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

He brought her chin up so she could look at him. So he could stare into her eyes. "It's _not_ your fault."

"Yes, it is. You wanted this so badly and you were so excited and I just screwed everything up, like I always do, but this time it meant something. And I just…" she paused. "I understand if you hate me."

"Hate you?" Danny said, incredulously. "Hate you? Christ, Min, why on Earth would I hate you?"

"This was your shot at a family, Danny. And it's gone because of me."

All she could see was his face when she told him, how it lit up, how he practically jumped on the bed from excitement and immediately had to call every single person they knew, because the Castellano's were going to be a family.

After that, he was nearly insufferable. He wouldn't let her carry anything other than her purse. He wouldn't let her ride the subway because he was afraid "some _schmuck_ might hit you and hurt the baby". They had spent more money on taxi fares in a month than Mindy would like to think about. He had begged her to cut her hours at work, to have more time to relax, but that's where Mindy stood her ground. It was only eight weeks in and he was getting absurd.

"_You've done this a thousand times, Castellano. Why are you acting like this?"_

"_Because it's never been this important, Min."_

Today was their first ultrasound and Dr. Mandelson couldn't hear a heartbeat.

"Mindy, this isn't our only shot. We can try again," he lowered his voice. "Do you…do you want to try again?"

"Yes. Of course I do, Danny. But…what if it…what if it happens again?" she bit her lip. _What if I can't have kids?_

"Shh…let's not think about that now, alright? It was our first go, Mindy. We'll try again in a couple weeks. Or whenever you're ready, okay?"

"I don't know what I did wrong. I did _everything_ right. I get paid to know how to handle these things. It's what I know, Danny."

"And, as a doctor, you should know that these things happen. It…sucks, but it happens."

Mindy sighed and trembled as she wiped away tears from her cheeks. "It wasn't supposed to happen…." She scooted down again, lying so that she could face her husband. He traced her jaw with a finger and she managed a small smile. Danny Castellano had a way of making her feel like she was the best thing in the world, and to him, she was.

Danny peppered her face with kisses. "You're still perfect, Dr. Castellano."

"As are you, Dr. Castellano."


End file.
